5k's (5)

Dear Friend,

Have you ever completed a road race?

December 2016 I was still considered morbidly obese. I had lost about 20 pounds at that point but I was far from fit. One day I saw a group of runners enter the coffee shop where I was sitting. Their energy was contagious. They looked like they had been running for miles but their conversation was animated with lots of laughter. They were bright and colorful. I wanted to be a member of that group so bad, friend. I had a fleeting timid thought of, "Maybe I could do a 5K?" My brain shut that thought right down by reminding me I couldn't run. I watched the runners gather their things and leave. I felt deflated.

Then, thanks to kismet, I read an article that changed my outlook. It talked about doing the things that your brain talks you out of. It said that if you have a thought of wanting to do something new DO IT! Don't be afraid. Don't wait for your brain to list all the reasons why you shouldn't do it. Like the impressive Nike slogan says, JUST DO IT! I was so inspired that I immediately looked online for upcoming 5K races. The first one I found that fit my schedule was The Arena Attack in Hartford on January 21, 2017. I registered without hesitation. I was in a race with my negative Nelly brain and, for once, I wanted to win. I felt like this was a test.

When I received my confirmation email I stared at it with a smile on my face as a slow panic crept in. I thought to myself, "What have I done." I stood up and collected my things then went out to my car for a little deep breathing. I was scared. I had just registered to do something that I had never done. I wasn't a runner. What was I thinking?!

However, I'm the type of person that commits. When I say I'm going to do something I do it. This was different. This was something I needed to prove to myself that I could do. I didn't tell anyone I was doing it until just before the race. I told my trainer (Hi Kyle) because I was really nervous about it. He said, "You got this, no problem." Oh great, now I couldn't back out because I didn't want to disappoint my trainer.

The day of the race I woke up early and found parking in Hartford near the arena. This race was perfect for my first race. It's an annual race. You run indoors on a flat surface that is an oval shaped course. You simply run around the outside concourse of the arena and there are bathrooms! I checked in, got my bib and this little gadget I had to put on my shoe. I looked around at the other runners to figure out where I was supposed to put my bib. I was a complete novice, friend. People were stretching and walking and talking about their other races while I stood off to the side trying not to freak out and stab myself with the safety pins. Did I mention there was a time limit for this 5K? Since they were also running a 10k, half marathon and marathon on the same day and same course the 5K people had to be done in 50 minutes or less... no pressure Miss sedentary.

The organizer, Scott, gave a wonderful pep talk and told us to have FUN. Then, before I could run away, we were off. I was doing it. I was participating in a 5K. I was so freaking proud of myself that I had a rush of adrenaline. I did my best to keep up with people in the beginning but it was quickly apparent to me that I would be the caboose. That's totally okay because I was now determined to finish and at least I wasn't sitting home on the couch. The only competition I had that day was with myself. There was music playing to help distract me and there were little cheerleaders scattered around the course to encourage me when my energy flagged. I heard my name a lot that day followed by cheers of, "YOU CAN DO IT!!". Thanks, kid!

I was struggling at the end. My legs hurt and my lungs were on fire. It was me and another lady who hadn't stopped once. We had taken turns passing each other and encouraging each other. Usually it was just a high five because we were both panting. She was amazing and found a burst of energy reserve to finish the race strong. She gave me a thumbs up and pulled away. I was so happy for her but I just couldn't do it. I was spent. My brain was engaged and telling me I was tired and couldn't run anymore. I didn't have anything left. I slowed to a staggering walk.

That's when the article popped back into my head. I remembered how it identified our brains as liars. That's all I needed. I told my brain to shut up! (I really don't like that phrase but sometimes strong language is needed when dealing with your brain) I exhaled and prayed I wouldn't trip then I started running again. It was slow and haggard but I was doing it. I crossed the line with a few minutes to spare.

I vaguely remember someone handing me a finisher medal and some water. I just kept walking. I walked all the way to my car. I was afraid that if I stopped I wouldn't get going again. My brain kept repeating the words, "I can't believe I just did that." in shocked disbelief.

When I reached my car I took a selfie and sent it to the world. The endorphins were kicking in and I was on cloud nine. I was so proud of myself. I had done something that my brain said I couldn't do. Friend, I wore that big round metal finisher medal all day like a nineties rap star. I ran my chores and did my laundry and washed my dishes all while wearing it around my neck. I may have even given it a smooch a couple of times because I now had tangible evidence that I could accomplish anything. The body achieves what the mind believes, friend.

I've completed quite a few races since that first race. I love the pride I feel when I cross that finish line. I still can't run the whole race but I'm getting healthier every day. I love how encouraging and faithful the running community is for each other. I love the emotion I see on other beginner runners who are crossing the finish line for the first time. I get choked up because I remember how great that feels. When was the last time you felt proud of yourself, friend? It's a wonderful feeling and I hope you find ways to cultivate it.

XO, Robin

P.S. If you want to learn more about health and wellness check out my Facebook page Oh my Quad!