Thursday, June 20, 2019

Helping Hands (25)




Dear Friend,

Have you ever seen someone else scared to the point of shaking? Fear is a confining emotion. Sometimes fear holds us back from doing the things we want to do. If you can overcome fear you can do anything.

I recently went on a fun weekend get away to Cape Cod with my elderly parents. My Mom and I decided to climb the inside of the Highland Lighthouse. There are sixty nine steps to the top. That is equivalent to climbing a five story building. Now, that doesn't sound too bad until you consider the kind of steps that they are.

Fun Fact about the lighthouse: 
In July of 1996, when the Highland Light was only 100 feet away from the edge of the cliff, the lighthouse was moved to its present location.The International Chimney Company of Buffalo, New York lifted the 430 ton lighthouse, and pushed it on steel “I” beams, lubricated with Ivory Soap, 453 feet to a safer location. 

There was an employee at the ground level of the Lighthouse who spoke eloquently to our small group of four about it's history. Our group consisted of Me, my Mom and an older couple. The husband spoke English but his wife spoke very little English. We were told to climb the stairs to the top and another employee would greet us to tell us more about the light.

The older couple climbed ahead of us. We could hear the wife muttering under her breath in another language all the way up the first two spiral inclines. The stairs were sturdy and secure but you could see through them to the ground. That was a bit disorienting. When we reached the middle landing the wife sat on a bench and waved her husband off. You could tell she was nervous. He was able to coax her up another flight of the stairs to a mini landing where she clung to the railing and waved him off again, complaining loudly in her language. She wasn't going to move.

My Mom and I reached her level and asked her if she was okay. She replied in her language and waved with a friendly shaking hand. Her other hand had a white knuckled grip around the pole she stood next too. She was trembling. I wasn't about to leave her there. It was crowded on that mini landing so I talked my Mom through how to climb up the 'Ships ladder' ahead of us. Imagine a straight ladder leaning against the side of a house. There wasn't a railing so you had to hang on to the ladder itself for stability. You had to climb up the ladder and through a hole in the ceiling that brought you to the floor above.

Once my Mom was through the hole, with the help of the husband and employee at the top, I looked over at the wife and smiled. She had been watching us and saw how my Mom climbed through the hole. "Okay, okay I go." She was trying to stay calm but her body gave her away.

She counted each step as she clutched to anything she could. She kept looking backwards to make sure I was still behind her. Slowly she made it to the floor above. I could hear everyone cheer when she rose through the hole. She could not be contained. She waved her arms and hugged her husband and beamed at me when I joined them. You could tell she was excited for having made it to the next ranger. She chattered away in her language. Her husband said she was very happy.

We all sat on benches and listened to the employee recount more of the Lighthouse history. Then the employee said we could climb the second 'Ships ladder' to get up to the last level and enjoy the view from the top of the light house. The wife waved her hands furiously and said, "No, no, no, no." I was beginning to worry how we were going to get her down.

The husband tried to talk his wife into going up just one more level while I asked my Mom if she wanted to climb it. She said sure so we both stood up to do it. When the wife saw us she stood up too and simply said, "Yes?" We smiled and said, "Yes".

"Okay, okay." she said then more muttering and a little moaning.

The husband went first. Next was my Mom. The husband took her hand to help her as she emerged through the floor. I looked at the wife, smiled, and waved towards the steps. She pointed at herself, shook her hands in the air as if to dry them and grabbed onto the ladder like her life depended on it. I kept saying, "You're okay." as she climbed the ladder chattering, shaking, gasping and counting each step. She made it to the top.

Once we were all at the top she hugged everyone and took lots of pictures. She was so thrilled. She even took a picture with me. It was a rainy day so the view of the ocean felt dramatic and perfect. We were all so pleased we had made it to the top to witness the view and the smiles on our faces.

Then it was time to go down. We made a quick decision about the order of decent. I volunteered to go first so that I could help the others if they needed it. My Mom went next and was amazingly confident. Then... nothing. The employee, my Mom, and I looked at each other with an expression of, "Uh Oh." I could here the familiar nervous chattering from above followed by the husbands calm voice.

I stepped back to the ships ladder and climbed up a few steps so that my face emerged through the floor they were standing on. I could see the wife leaning against her husband with her face in her hands. She was shaking again.

"Are you ready?" I said with a smile.

she looked at me and shook her head no. I reached out my hand, "Yes you are, come on. You can do it." I beckoned her closer.

She took my hand and started muttering on an exhale, "Okay, okay."

I think the tricky part for her was the fact that there was nothing to hang onto at the top until you were able to climb down a few steps and hang on to the steps you had passed. I stayed very close to her because I was worried she would shake herself off of the ladder. The four of us made our way slowly back down the Lighthouse steps together.

There was more hugging at the bottom and a few deep breathing exercises but she made it, we all did. When we drove away a half hour later we saw her across the parking lot and waved. She waved back with such enthusiasm it made my Mom and I both laugh with fondness. We will never see this woman again, we didn't even know her name, but we had made a life long friend that day simply because we had refused to leave her behind.


Sometimes, in my exercise classes, I feel like I'm being left behind. My most difficult movement right now is called a Burpee. Do you know what a Burpee is, friend? If not, here is a short video Beginner Burpees

Burpees are a great measurement of total body fitness.

In class, the modification is a squat, backwards lunge, back to squat then stand. I had been doing the modification for months and months while working on my core strength. Burpees scare me because I have thrown my back out a few times in the past so I'm always very careful when it comes to doing exercises that involve my core. Here's the funny thing about consistently exercising... your body gets stronger whether you believe in it or not. Your body will surprise you.

One day in class I had a friend come up to me and say, "You know, you're really strong, you can do burpees." I was so taken aback by her confidence in me that I decided to try it. The next class, when it was time to do the burpees, I didn't think about it I just went for it. Immediately after I DID the BURPEES I stood for a few seconds in complete shock. I didn't die. I didn't break my back. I felt overjoyed. My burpees aren't perfect and I can't do very many yet but I can do them and all it took was one person to give me that nudge of confidence.

Go out, friend, and do those things that scare you a little. I always take comfort knowing that there are helpers in the world ready to lend a hand or offer words of encouragement. Whenever I start to doubt myself or feel insecure there is always someone nearby who gives me courage when I least expect it. It's amazing what you can do when someone believes you can do it. It may surprise you who comes forward to be your helper. Are you ready, friend? Yes, come on! You can do it!

XO,
Robin

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