Happy Birthday (21)

Dear Friend,

I recently had a birthday. It wasn't a milestone birthday as far as the number goes but it was a milestone birthday for managing my well being. This birthday was the happiest I have been in a really long time. I chose to laugh a lot on my birthday, friend, and it was exactly what I needed.

I have always felt like I was a strong person. I'm usually the one carrying the emotional burdens of everyone else. I'm a good listener. However, as I grow older and a little wiser, I realize that my strength is not a constant. There are times when I get tired or scared too. That's when I have to bolster my reserves of strength by asking my friends and/or family to circle their wagons. Sometimes they help me without even knowing that they are.

My birthday fell on a Saturday this year. The week leading up to my birthday had been fantastic. I felt like I was on top of the world and I was full of joy. I was looking forward to a fun filled day with friends followed by my Parents on Sunday. It was going to be great!

Wednesday, hump day, I get a voicemail on my cellphone from my doctor's office. "Hi, this is xyz from Radiology with regards to your recent mammogram? We have discovered an area of concern and would like you to come in as soon as possible for an ultrasound. It's probably nothing but we just want to make sure. Please call back at your earliest convenience to schedule that appointment. Thank you and have a great day!" 

Well... that sucks... *insert heart palpitations here.

I called back three times, trying not to freak out or fall apart, before I could speak with a human being. Their earliest appointment was the Monday after my birthday. *Deep breath, Robin.

At first I contemplated not telling anyone. In the last two years my family has lost two family members to cancer, one of them was breast cancer. I can handle this, I thought. I didn't want to worry anyone. However, my anxiety got the better of me. I needed my Mom. Luckily, my Mom is a retired nurse. When she is faced with any kind of medical situation she goes into something I like to call "clinical mode". She takes in all the information then calmly gives you advice based on years of experience. She made me feel better and reminded me that she had had a call back too that turned out to be nothing. Okay, I can do this. Thursday and Friday passed without much fear just lots of heart kisses texted from my Mom but as my birthday crept closer my anxiety level rose again. I reached out to a dear friend who has had experience with breast cancer. She too made me feel better and assured me that call backs are much more common now a days. Again, I felt better.

That's when I made the conscious decision to have a great birthday. I wasn't going to let the "area of concern that could be nothing" ruin my fun! 

It really was a top ten birthday. My face and stomach hurt from laughing so much. It was wonderful to see my two best friends smiling and laughing as much as I was. We all needed it for various reasons. I'm glad I didn't tell them that day about my call back. It would have been a black cloud over a perfect day with amazing friends. I will Cherish this birthday and the memories we made that day for years to come. The pictures are pretty hilarious too. 

Friend, my point in telling you about this is that happiness truly is a choice if you let it be. We can't always choose our health circumstances but we can work to improve them by exercising our muscles and eating a healthy diet. It's the same with happiness. A happy heart gets stronger with laughter, love, kindness and compassion. Seek out people who will nurture these things and share them with you. Don't forget that your heart is a muscle that requires daily exercise too, friend. 

Oh, and my "area of concern" turned out to be nothing! 

XO, Robin

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Gratitude (20)

Dear friend,

When was the last time you felt gratitude? When you think of the word gratitude what does it mean to you? The definition of gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. For me, gratitude means more than just saying thank you to someone else, it's a feeling of thoughtfulness that fills you up and makes your heart swell.

There are days in our lives when we get stuck in the mud. Those are the days we are overwhelmed by our to-do list. All we see is the stress of getting everything done. We forget to be grateful for who we are and what we have. Those are the days we need reminders.

My father was a carpenter before he retired. He worked all over the state on a construction crew. He had an uncanny skill to lay out a job in his mind and calculate exactly what was needed for materials from the amount of lumber right down to the bag of nails. He's built multi-level houses and apartment buildings, hotels and garages. He built all my book shelves and bedroom furniture. He more than tripled the size of my childhood home and added on an in-law apartment for my grandparents when they got older. Whenever I needed help with something I knew my Dad could figure it out. I have always known my Dad as tall, handsome, strong, stubborn and very capable. He also happened to be legally blind.

My Mom taught me to drive initially but it was my Dad who helped me to feel confident behind the wheel. We would go on little adventures. He would take me out to dinner so I could drive or we'd just go for a ride. He knew the roads of our town like the back of his hand. He could guide me with landmarks and tell me to turn left when I see this or right when I see that. He had memorized all the names of the streets too. He was my first GPS. I trusted him to keep us from getting lost and he trusted me not to crash into anything. Our adventures became a habit as the years passed and his remaining vision slowly faded.

One day we were returning from one of our dinner dates, while Mom was at work, when he asked me if we could stop at the store. I groaned internally because I was in a bad mood from a long work day. Dinner had taken much longer than expected. I had a lot to do and still had a forty minute drive to get home. I was irritated and impatient. I reluctantly agreed. We parked and I trudged into the store with him behind me, hanging on to my shoulder. When we got inside I sighed and asked him what we were looking for. He said he wanted to buy a card and some flowers for my Mom because tomorrow was their anniversary.

Friend, I'm not going to lie, I almost sobbed right there in the front of the store. Here I was being an impatient jerk when all my Dad wanted to do was buy a gift for his sweetie for their anniversary. It was an action he couldn't do by himself. I felt terrible. I had completely forgotten about their anniversary. I fought back tears and gave him a bear hug while I sniffled into his shoulder. He patted me on the back as I asked him what kind of flowers he wanted. We spent another hour smelling flowers and reading cards together until we were both happy. It was a fun adventure and a valuable lesson in thoughtfulness that I will always be grateful for.

When you are feeling lost in the minutia of day to day life, friend, please take a moment to be grateful for one thing your body has done right for you that day. Do you have eyes to see with? Ears to hear with? Can you pick up things with your hands? Did you have a nice walk or run around the block?  If you are healthy, fall in love with the amazing bio-mechanical system that you call your body. There are so many people in this world who live happy and full lives with much less. Be grateful for everything your body can do for you. Be kind to your body. Don't focus on the things it can't do. Love yourself more today because you can, friend.

xo, Robin

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The Best (19)

Dear Friend,

Are you a competitive person? Are you the best at something? Does it make you feel good? What does being the best mean anyway? Why do some people feel driven to be the best? We are all unique individuals so aren't we already the best at being ourselves?

There have been times in my life when people have applauded the things I could do. I even received a a couple standing ovations. That felt amazing and I was grateful for them but it isn't the kind of validation I seek. I would much rather be awesome anonymously. The fulfillment you get from spreading joy covertly is like nothing else I've ever known. To be able to make someone smile or inspire someone without taking credit for it is a kind of satisfaction that can be thrilling, especially when you see the results of your actions. Anonymity is difficult to achieve sometimes but it's a heck of a lot of fun to try.

I like to call them 'special projects'. I know for a fact that I am not the only person in the world who likes to do "special projects'. Have you seen the kindness rocks that people leave around town, friend? I haven't tried that one yet but I love the concept and will paint a few of my own to share soon. I've also seen random sticky notes with kind phrases on them at drive thru windows. Nice! The other day I saw post it notes of encouragement stuck to books in the teen section of my library. Perfect! Anything you can do to have a surprising positive impact on another human being is a step in the right direction.

The best part about becoming a healthy individual is that once you have taken the time to heal yourself you find that you have much more energy, love and kindness to share with the world around you. People are starving for it. The other day I stopped at Home Depot to pick up a couple items I needed. As I walked towards the front door I passed an older lady pushing her carriage. She was slow and slumped with the weight of her world. I have a fondness for elderly people so I smiled a big bright smile at her. She stopped in her tracks and stared at me for a second then smiled back and said, "Wow! What a wonderful greeting!" She stood a little straighter as we passed each other and I could tell that just the act of acknowledging her had improved her day. It surprised me that something so simple could have such an impact on another person. Smiling is easy for me. It's my default setting. It didn't cost me anything or take any effort on my part to smile at her and yet we both received a positive boost from the interaction. To me, encounters like that are the best.

Every stage of our lives we focus on new things. If you are an adult you have survived early childhood development and the teenage years. The twenties are all about leaving the nest, making mistakes and spreading your wings. The thirties might be about building strong roots and foundations of your own. Each decade we learn and experience personal growth. I think that's why I admire senior citizens. They have survived and grown a lot in their lives and have incredible, sometimes surprising, stories to tell.

I hope you know, friend, that being the best has nothing to do with trophies, medals, or standing ovations. Those things are great motivators and milestones but the best has more to do with who you become while striving for those things. Are you the best version of yourself? We focus so strongly at the beginning of the year on our resolutions. The most common is diet and exercise. Eating whole foods and getting to the gym consistently is important but are YOU real and consistent? You may be focusing on improving your muscle strength right now but can people count on your strength of character?

A lot of the worlds religions refer to 'good people' as being like a candle in a dark world. I hope that you are able to nurture your inner light so well this year that instead of being a flickering candle in this dark world you will be a bonfire that lights up your surroundings with warmth and energy. Take a look around you. How can you improve what you see? Are you happy? Are the people around you happy? I hope so, friend! If not, start with little changes or happy surprises. If you are brave enough, try volunteering or helping somehow in your community. When I say community I don't necessarily mean the town you live in. It could refer to any group of people you spend time with. I guarantee you that if you approach an idea or task for spreading kindness with a positive attitude you will feel phenomenal after wards, especially if you can do it anonymously.

I challenge you to be the best human being you can be this year. Do you have a great idea for kindness? Don't wait, Just do it! I hope this post is the lighter fluid you need to get your metaphorical bonfire started.

XO, Robin 

P.S. If you liked this post please subscribe to my Blog using the link at the top! If you want to learn more about health and wellness please like my Facebook page Oh my Quad!